Saturday, April 30, 2005

Your fear is his deadliest weapon

The comics movie you've all been waiting for makes its debut tonight!

No, not "Batman Begins."

No, not "Fantastic Four," either.

I'm talking about "Man-Thing," the Marvel Comics adaptation that went from plans for a major theatrical relase to being reduced to a cable TV movie.

Reviews aren't positive.
About as enthralling as watching algae grow, "Man-Thing" is a film about a swamp monster that arises to attack an oil rig destroying its domain.

The monster — some kind of incarnation of American Indian spirits — is not dissuaded by the fact the rig is a cheap, unconvincing movie prop.

So it goes around spearing people with vegetation as the film reduces audiences to tears with the ensuing dialogue:

"How can you shove a branch down someone's throat like that?"

"Sheriff, that branch wasn't forced in. It's coming from the inside out."

This might have worked as comedy if the jokes weren't more accidental than deliberate. ...

If you're brave enough to ignore the critics (or if you just want to see how bad this thing is), tune in to the Sci Fi network tonight at 8 p.m.

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